San Francisco, CA: A local man who recently brought his newly acquired DSLR to the Golden Gate Bridge has announced the founding of his photography business.
The photographer, John Griffith, recently visited the famous landmark while on a hike, where he took an image of the bridge in the fog, forcing family and friends to view it many times and describing the tilted horizon and odd crop that cut off the top of the structure as "artistic choices." Despite having no prior experience in photography, Griffith announced the opening of his photography business, "Moments of a Lifetime," specializing in landscape, portrait, wedding, birth, engagement, sports, event, glamour, and boudoir photography. Griffith also announced the addition of commercial and product photography after discovering the pop-up flash when he accidentally hit the lightning bolt button on his Canon Rebel. Says Griffith of his general aesthetic:
I just like to keep it simple, you know? Saturation: 100, Clarity: -100. Print.
Local reviews of Moments of a Lifetime have been mixed. We spoke to some of Griffith's friends, who noted:
I just asked for some nice engagement shots. I'm not sure why there was a tiger Photoshopped into all of them. I mean, do we even have tigers in California?
He kept talking about how a heavy vignette really brings attention to the subject, but I couldn't really listen to what he was saying because he kept saying 'vignette' with a hard g.
All my headshots were black and white except for my eyes. He said: 'it brings out the blue of your eyes.' I wasn't really sure about it, but he does have a really nice camera...
Griffith has also appointed himself the official photographer of all family events, bringing his unique style of selective color portraits to the Griffith family reunion and offering cousin Linnie menacing glares whenever she pulled out her smartphone to snap a shot, muttering: "do you even know how much depth of field you're getting with that ISO?" Said Grandma Beth after 45 minutes of posing and 600 shots:
Would someone please get me a chair?
Griffith notes he plans to begin offering workshops next week.
Hi Guys, has anybody seen John Griffith, photographer, website? Wanted to look at his portfolio
I was taking it so serious until I reached to the line of Photoshopped Tigers. ))))) LOL
Need to try that as well.
You can still see classic comments like "great work, amazing shot, nice picture" on really bad photos. But what's weird is that even people with professional looking portfolio leave comments like this on an over saturated, overblown highlights sunset snapshots. Strange...
If you Google that name and add "photography" you do get something that is not entirely out of place with this post ...
LOLOL
I'm following him on Instagram. He already has over ONE HUNDRED followers. Some people have all the luck
someone posted apr 1 article early
sadly we all know this is a real thing
I was reading this and as it slowly dawned on me that this was indeed satire, I found myself greatly relieved that it WASN'T real.
By giving him any attention in the media, like this post on fstoppers, u are giving him the fame he is clearly aiming for, and likely he will make it as a 'pro' photographer too.. any dumbass can make it in the US I guess. Look at your president. Just gotta be idiotic enough to be sensational, and u earn your $$ that way..
This also describes every woman in Utah that has a Rebel.