I think your model gets lost in the background. The color palette is cool, but it's distracting and the focus isn't on her. I'd crop in tighter to get rid of some of the distracting elements, and maybe next time shoot at a lower f-stop to blur the background just a bit more. Her pose is a little awkward but not terrible; that said, there's something about the clothing that seems to make her look more bulky than she actually is. I'd pay attention to details such as her hair covering her neck, and angling her body in such a way that the clothing is more on display (as clothing and accessories are, by definition, the focus of "fashion photography").
Another thing I can't help but think is that this outfit looks more like something for someone older than your model appears to be. She has a very young face and this outfit seems slightly out of place on her. That's just my opinion though. :) Hope this helps!
To add to Sennia, I think you definitely need to focus on visualizing composition and strive for a diagonal to break up the static horizontals and verticals. You could achieve this through pose or moving close to one of the framing walls.
I think your model gets lost in the background. The color palette is cool, but it's distracting and the focus isn't on her. I'd crop in tighter to get rid of some of the distracting elements, and maybe next time shoot at a lower f-stop to blur the background just a bit more. Her pose is a little awkward but not terrible; that said, there's something about the clothing that seems to make her look more bulky than she actually is. I'd pay attention to details such as her hair covering her neck, and angling her body in such a way that the clothing is more on display (as clothing and accessories are, by definition, the focus of "fashion photography").
Another thing I can't help but think is that this outfit looks more like something for someone older than your model appears to be. She has a very young face and this outfit seems slightly out of place on her. That's just my opinion though. :) Hope this helps!
To add to Sennia, I think you definitely need to focus on visualizing composition and strive for a diagonal to break up the static horizontals and verticals. You could achieve this through pose or moving close to one of the framing walls.