[Humor] Shtuff People Say to Photographers

I'm not a big fan of memes. Let's be honest, they're pretty much junk food for your brain. But with the recent slew of "sh!t ___ say" memes kicking around I actually couldn't resist checking out the ones related to us in the photo industry. I mean, seriously, if I hear "That's a nice camera. You must be a good photographer," one more time I may have to slay someone. See if any of this sounds familiar to you.

From Kenn:
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Kenn Tam's picture

Been holding this damn camera in my hand since 1991.
Toronto / New York City

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i wanna hurt them

I already got almost every single one of those! haha!
They missed the one that goes after you give the final prints: "And the other photos?... there was this pose that I made...blah blah" I hate that one!

I also have heard most of those, and in portuguese is worst.. 

I LOL'ed when I saw this frame. One of my customers did that right in front of me!


The one is missing is: is this one of those cameras that lets you look very far away?
and the other is:
how many pixels is this? my cell phone has more i´d be a photographer too!

"If your big fancy camera can't do it, then how come my cheap little camera can."

"So a beauty dish will make me beautiful?"

"My uncle has a nice camera, so I'm just going to let him do it."

How about, 

Client, "Your camera takes nice pictures." 

You, "Yes. And your kitchen make a wonderful Creme Brulee."

" ...how about some of those instagram filters ...? " (cataclysmic sound as forehead smashes in to desk-top, over and over)

Hall and Oats!

So funny! Man I wanted to hurt him! 

Blah. This is the worst of the Sh*t people say genre that I've seen.  So much material to use but so poorly executed.

"Why would you use flashes when the sun in shining? You must be an idiot!"
"How much zoom does your camera have? Like, how many 'x'?""I don't know, my camera just sucks.""Isn't it too dark in here to take pictures?""I can't hold your camera, it scares me, it looks so expensive!""Getting anything good?""How many megapixels does it have?! Well, bad news, they tricked you. Everything above 6 megapixels sucks.""Can I see it? Can I see it?""You know, a good photographer can take pictures with ANY camera.""Oh, that's a Nikon D300s with the MB-D10, isn't it!!! I'm actually thinking about getting one of those, too, gotta love full frame. Can I try and take a shot? Wait, where do you zoom? Why is the picture all black? Oh, I don't use manual, where do I switch it to auto? It's that expensive and it doesn't have sports mode?! I think I'm going with Canon! Like, I hear the 5 mark D is awesome.""Wait, that's DIGITAL? It's like, a big camera, but digital?!!!!""Wait, that's DIGITAL? I thought pros only shoot film!""Which newspaper are you working for?""So, which TV station are you with?""Mum, why does that guy have such a big camera?""So much, uh … stuff for a PHOTO?! Seriously?!""I'll let you in on a little secret, kid. You know how I know you're not a real pro? Pros use tripeds!""So, is she, like, a top model?""How on earth do you make that big flash fire over there?! Is it, like, electrical?"(looking at a studio flash head with a power pack) "THAT is a FLASH?! How on earth do you put that onto your camera?!"(carrying one of my speedlites I had set up with a radio trigger) "You there, you left your flash over there! Here, I got it for you.""My camera takes great pictures. See?" (shows me 3000 holiday snapshots on the back of his camera in the hope that I, the guy with an expensive camera who must be a pro, might say they are good and say it loud enough for his wife and son to hear so they'll know he is awesome at buying the right camera)."Does that camera come in silver, too? What about pink? I wanna get a good one for my wife.""How much did you pay for that camera?!""So, how many models do you fuck per day?""Man, if you shoot me, that's 100€!" (my answer usually is "If I shoot you, that's 1500€ plus tax and makeup artist.", that usually shuts them up)"Why do you need all this … stuff?"(person talking to a friend, carrying one of my radio triggers I had put on a table for a second when changing lenses) "Look what I found, when I press the button, it flashes over there!!!""Don't you think you have got something by now?!" (usually annoyed guys with bad breath when I have to shoot live concerts, theater or dance etc. for the artists)"You can't go up there, there is a sign up there that says you can't! What do you mean you have permission, no, that's impossible, they can't have given you permission, there is A SIGN!""Oh, YOU might know, my harddrive died the other day, how do I get my pictures back?""Your backpack looks really professional!"

I shot this event once, I approached a young mom for a photograph with her daughter and she said to her daughter "Girl, come UNCLE want to take photo of you" . Uncle in Singapore is a term for middle aged men 40++ and I'm 21 this year complete with funky hair... *sigh*

"lets shoot at 2 o'clock there will be awesome light!"

In my case the people think I can do everything in photoshop, if they have any defect on their clothes they simple say " you do it in Photoshop, yes ? ".
The Photoshop is magical, I think some people even consider that is enough you look at them and download the pics from your brain and load it in photoshop.

So funny !!
ANd so real...
I've had so many of these in my career, and many more...