Recently a number of women have come forward and made some pretty strong accusations against a relatively well-known photographer, Jason Lanier. This has brought the subject of sexual abuse and assault back into many discussions.
The impulse is to write an article about how these are terrible actions and we need to stop doing such things. I feel this would be about as effective as shouting in the middle of a shopping center "everyone needs to stop stealing". The problem with this approach is that it is unjustly and incredibly condescending, and it creates a situation where instead of discussing the issue people start taking sides for and against the article. I want to try to avoid that as much as possible because I'd like this to be a source of help as opposed to being a source of contention.
It's terrible that sexual assault continues within our industry and in general. What's worse is the fact that it will more than likely continue. It's foolish to think that writing an article will eradicate all aspects of such behavior, however, I believe offering help to both photographers and models could be beneficial.
For Models
It's important to understand that when I say model I'm discussing people who work as such and not relating it to any specific sex or gender.
Seek Medical Attention
Based on the advice from the NHS here in the UK, one of the most important and useful things you can do if you've been sexually assaulted is to seek medical attention. There are a number of reasons for this such as being at risk of pregnancy, or sexually transmitted diseases. Also if you are looking to press charges, then being forensically examined as soon as possible is extremely useful, and can have a significant impact on any case.
You Are Not Alone
This is one of the most common feelings that many individuals experience after being subjected to such kinds of assault.No one likes to be a victim and for that and many other reasons, individuals may choose to act as though it's not a big deal. On occasions, people can be in shock and this may prevent them from coming to terms with what may have occurred. Embarrassment and fear are also common feelings among many individuals and this can prevent people from speaking out; which in turn can lead to a sense of loneliness.
In many cases, friends and family members can struggle to fully appreciate what you're going through. For this reason, I believe it's probably a good idea to get in touch with organizations like RAINN. That sense of loneliness can be extremely difficult to manage and seeking help is highly recommended.
Speak Out
This is quite possibly the toughest thing that you may have to endure. It's not vital by any means and there is no obligation on you to speak out if you don't want to, however, it can be extremely helpful. There are several examples that demonstrate how helpful speaking out can be extremely helpful. For instance, recently Sunnaya Nash, a design student called out Marcus Hyde for his inappropriate behavior. This lead to a number of individuals to also speak out against Hyde describing their interactions with him. It's quite common for people to feel confident enough to speak out once someone has already come forward. If an incident has happened to you then chances are it's happened to a number of other individuals too.
Another example is Jade Galloway and her accusations against Jason Lanier. Shortly after her post was published on Instagram a number of other models came forward with their stories too. Speaking out about these types of incidents can help build a network of support for you an others affected. Having that kind of support can be immensely helpful. Once again, there is nothing saying that you have to speak out against anyone if you don't want to. There's also no obligation on you to press charges if you don't want to, it's entirely up to you; however, there are certain strengths and benefits to be gained by doing so.
There's a good chance that even after you come forward you may be dismissed or even outright ignored. This is quite common unless there a number of individuals making similar claims against someone. Speaking out may not result in immediate results however it's important to look at this more as a long term battle. This is also one of the reasons why having a support network and contacting organizations like RAINN can be so valuable.
You Will Be Blamed
Unfortunately, victim-blaming is common. Be prepared for this because more than likely this is something you will have to face. Comment sections may not be friendly areas for you to visit and it would be advisable to avoid them. It's common for the least educated to assume the most.
Innocent Until Proven Guilty
I completely agree with this and I believe this is the correct way for our justice system to work. For that reason, it's extremely important that you gather as much evidence as you can. Leave no stone unturned and prepare yourself as well as you can. Remember that there have been notable false accusations that have been made too and they will, unfortunately, cast a shadow on you. The other thing to consider is that most sexual assault cases do not end with a conviction. I can only imagine the difficulty of having to endure something like this but I believe it's important to know what you're up against.
For Photographers
In a relatively recent video by Tony and Chelsea Northrup, they discuss some of the issues in the photography industry. I thought this video was extremely well done with lots of helpful and useful information. One of the most important points that the Northrup's make is about context and how that has an impact on perception. There are people out there who do terrible things and this does, unfortunately, impact the perception of all photographers and being aware of that can be helpful. The video above does a brilliant job discussing things from a photographers perspective and I highly recommend you have a watch. The information is provided in a manner that's properly useful without being condescending in any way.
The modeling and photography industry both work very closely with one another. Because of this symbiotic relationship, it's important for both industries to get along in a healthy and productive fashion.
Finally, if there's any information in this article that's incorrect or harmful, please do let me know in the comments.
There is many ways of pissing off people. Not all of them is so bad a man's life and reputation should be permanently damaged. You judge what you don't know based on a presumption.
Yes there are many ways of pissing people off. Whether any or all of them are bad enough to ruin a life or reputation is not something I care all that much about because when you're a public figure, it's rare for the consequences of your actions to be proportionate to the actions themselves. If you become famous then you need to be even more careful about everything you do because the consequences (both good and bad) become magnified that much more. I judge what I do know—numerous people who have worked closely with him (some for years) coming out and making similar accusations about him.
I don't presume to know if the accusations themselves are true, but I'm not naive enough to believe that a bunch of random people would get together to target someone for no cause. Regardless of his intent, he had a direct role in how all of those relationships turned out because he was engaged in all of them. That much I do know.
There's no smoke without fire. Unless you've seen a dry ice machine in a disco.
It is absolutely disgusting how many men have been hung out to dry without a trial because "metoo".
In the UK, the Crown Prosecution Service colluded with a "victim" when they knew the rape allegation was false because "metoo".
I don't know whether Lanier is innocent or guilty, I do know he deserves a fairer trial than a bunch of idiots on social media determining his guilt based on "he said, she said".
Trials and due process are functions of legal proceedings. There's nothing saying that a person can't be socially ostracized because the community itself just decided that they didn't want anything to do with him. This dude put it better.
At school, they know the word for this behavior. It's "bullying". That's what social ostracism without evidence and a hearing is - bullying.
You can dress it up any way you like but it's bullying. And it's grotesque.
The Millennial generation has become very good at bullying via social media - they don't even have to be representative of their community, get 100 angry fools on Twitter and somebody's life can be destroyed.
When you allow other people to do your thinking for you, you're not pulling off some amazing feat of justice, you're one of those people watching a lynching thinking, "Hey, there are a lot of people here so it must be OK, right?"
There is available evidence—the testimony of a dozen unrelated people who have worked closely with him regarding his character. It may not be enough to convict him of a crime, but it's enough for me to create my own opinion of what kind of person he must be to have so many people who have no relation to each other hate his guts.
What does being a "millennial" have anything to do with this? You realize that's a garbage word that groups people who are currently between 23 and 38 years old, right? Do you think the same characteristics realistically apply to people that far apart in age? It's just a word to fallback on so that people can bitch about things they don't like in the abstract.
When did I allow people do do my thinking for me? I stated my exact reasoning for coming to my conclusions. You have a bunch of people who have no connection to each other (all of whom have worked closely with Lanier) telling essentially the same story. Many elements of their claims have ironically been confirmed by Lanier himself in his own defense videos (except obviously he draws different conclusions). You have former clients and collaborators coming out with their own experiences about him being a crappy person in their dealings. At the same time, the only people that actually seem to be coming to his defense are his rabid fanbase who have never met the man or worked with him. In his own defense, he has presented videos completely unrelated to the matter (the fact that a murderer didn't kill Cindy doesn't mean that he didn't kill Amy) as well as cutting videos to remove context from the testimonials that he does present. When someone IN THE VIDEO comments on his channel complaining that she doesn't want to be used like that, he goes ahead and deletes her comment.
If that's the type of person that you want to support, then go right ahead. Just from these things, I can easily make my own judgment that this wouldn't be the type of person that I would want to associate with or do business with. I don't need a jury trial in a court of law to apply my own reason to a situation and draw my own conclusions. No rational person would actually look at this situation objectively and conclude that there isn't something wrong with this guy. Ironically, it's the people waiting for the result of a trial that are actually looking to let others do the thinking for them (12 jurors in this case). Everyone else seems to be looking at the facts that are presented and engaging their brains as reasonable people should. Whether Lanier's behavior is criminal or not, it's still the type of thing that I would prefer to stay away from. By all means, though. Please continue to defend him as it gives the rest of us a glimpse as to what kind of person you are, too.
On a side note, I do find it incredibly interesting how invested you are in the manner in which Lanier is being "bullied" without any concrete evidence or trial and there's absolutely no mention of the disgusting things that his alleged victims have been enduring from Lanier's fans who also have absolutely no evidence or trial to go on by your own standards. Shouldn't that type of thing work both ways?
And yet, I can find 20 women claiming to have been raped by Trump and none of them have any credibility.
If you've been molested - go to the police. The place to try someone is in court. Not in hearsay evidence in the public eye.
All of that endless blah, is you going "I am so clever, that I know what happened without being there or giving the guy a chance to defend himself". Stop now, you're embarrassing yourself and your already massively embarrassed generation.
And every bully has a way of justifying their behavior, you are no different. Whatsoever.
Are you seriously comparing Jason Lanier to Donald Trump? Donald Trump might actually be the most hated man in America given that literally half of the country doesn't seem to like him. He is also in a hugely influential position and wields immense power. He's a symbol of something that a large portion of this country detests and on top of that, he has really deep pockets to pay people off. Despite this, you can probably find 20 women who have made accusations against him. Jason Lanier is who, exactly? I can tell you 20 different motivations for why a person might falsely accuse Donald Trump of sexual impropriety to cause his downfall. I couldn't say the same thing about why a dozen or so people might want to cause the downfall of a random YouTube photographer. Can you?
What am I doing to "bully" Lanier? Presenting my own interpretation of the evidence and claims that have come to light? I have no idea who this guy actually is aside from the stuff I've seen from him, his accusers, and other people who have weighed in on the topic. I've never met him, never seen any of his videos before all of this (although I have gone back and watched some since), and I've not sent a single message to him about all this. What would be my motivation for "bullying" a random person? My having an opinion on the matter is no different from how I have an opinion on any news story I come across whether it be regarding Donald Trump, Kevin Spacey, or Aziz Ansari. Some people I believe and others I don't. I'm not stupid enough to think that every single accusation is true as I know instances of former co-workers launching unfounded accusations after being fired (I know that they were unfounded because I was present during the alleged dates and times.). Ironically enough, my boss at the time WAS actually a complete scumbag who DID sexually harass the women in the company on a regular basis. It's just that none of the ACTUAL instances of this were ever reported by the women involved (or anyone else for the matter). It's a bit sad that it took a bunch of false accusations to bring that company down and even despite all of this, none of the real victims ever stepped forward.
As far as evidence, what other evidence are you realistically thinking is going to come up? Dates and locations are agreed upon by both sides. The only thing that's different is the claims on each side for which there would be no reason to believe there would be physical evidence. You want semen samples? DNA test? Surveillance footage? Secretly recorded cellphone conversations? I'm not sure what it is you're looking for.
As for the guy having a chance to defend himself, he's been making every attempt to defend himself since this all started. Did you not actually watch the videos he released? The ones where he goes on rants, impugns the character of the accusers, and tries to drum up sympathy for himself with sappy music and bringing up his family rather than actually presenting his side of the story in a coherent manner? Pretty much all of his attempts to date have been some sort of deflection, straw man, or victim blaming. If you have seen a convincing example of him defending himself, please feel free to direct me to it and I would be glad to adjust my opinion accordingly.
One thing I would like to point out is that I do believe that there are a number of explanations to any given scenario. People do change their stories. Misunderstandings happen and human memory is a flawed thing. People interpret advances when the other person has no such intention, etc. Just saying "Sorry, I misread the situation." would go a lot further and be more convincing than ranting about disloyal and ungrateful models. I agree (and have said above) that if there is sexual assault, go to the police. I suspect that this situation is a lot more complex than either side is making it out to be (they usually are), but everything in the statements of both Lanier and the accusers suggests that Lanier was at fault to some degree for creating the circumstances for this to happen. Rather than acknowledge poor judgment, however, he puts the blame solely on everyone else.
Let me make this clear. If you are a professional photographer, there is no good reason to book a single room for you and a model regardless of her age—especially not one with a single bed. There is no good reason to make sexually charged comments or try to get personal. You shouldn't do that with a co-worker in an office and you shouldn't do that with a co-worker on a photo shoot. I think that a lot of photographers lose sight of this due to the informal nature of our industry.
Also, I don't believe that a poor decisions that a person made in the past is necessarily a reflection of their character today nor do I believe that it is something that they should have to be beaten up about for the rest of their lives. Don't get me wrong. Decisions do and ought to have consequences. However, I believe in redemption and the capacity of people to learn from their mistakes and instill change in their lives. As I said, I don't know Jason Lanier, but I do hope he learns from this and modifies how he interacts with the people he works with in the future to avoid this kind of thing. I also hope that he can get beyond whatever anger and frustration he is clearly feeling and acknowledge the parts of this mess that were of his own making.
Whether the greater photographic community will ever embrace him again or not is not something that I can say, but just because he can't be the face of Sony doesn't mean that he can't have a successful photographic career. I can definitely tell you, however, that continuing to demonize his accusers while completely absolving himself of any fault at all is not going to help public opinion of him simply because it's not credible.
I think we've established that you are an unrepentant self-justifying bully now. I don't see any point in continuing this because this isn't a conversation - this is just you expounding on how awesome your viewpoint is. Go pat yourself on the back some more.
You're really hopeless. Whatever, dude. Keep fighting the good fight. /s
Michael Jin, you're so awesome
Thanks
In one of Jason's own videos he goes:
- She came to my room at 3 in the morning, because if a fight with the other models. -
As a manager: In that case; step one: Fix her a safe space to sleep: Hotels are perfect for this, and if the hotel you are staying at is full - the front desk will help you with everything from transport to booking another hotel. If you are on AirBnB, start calling.
He refers to similar stuff happening, complaining over models arguging and fighting. Well, as a manager he is responsible for their work environment - by his own words, he created an unsafe space and did not take steps to avoid it from happening in the future. A basic step is not to have people share a room.... especially not strangers
And if he can´t afford that, well then you can`t afford doing that project.
That does not make him into a monster that needs to be hung out in media as a sexual offender.
Now, I think he is far from being hung out as a monster. Hung out, definitively, but I think we are a few degrees away from "monster" status. But hey, each their own of what they put in that word.
However, he defends his actions in public and I commented specifically on what he himself has said, in this comment you choose to reply to. I would say I am more on the level of "Really crappy manager that creates an unsafe work environment." Something that was in response to your overall post, and the question of: "Can you tell me what bad he did or are you just judgmental?" Something you have asked more than once.
I suppose he did not do anything bad but people needs to get over his success and get a life.
Success??
Have you watched those videos from the models...at least two of them report being touched in ways which made them feel uncomfortable.
Watch a cross section of his videos...you will hear "hun" and "sweetie" etc.
In his REBUTTAL video to one model he talks about "paying for everything", "giving models a chance" etc etc etc. He's establishing a quid pro quo.
It doesn't matter to me what a married man with two children does on the side. That's not news. However he's leveraging an Employer/Employee relationship for his own intimate satisfaction.
And he makes a statement that the reason he chose these YOUNG girls are because they are available to travel and work at any time of the day...but guess what?
So are professional models.
Get your head out of the sand. If your minor daughter was travelling with a man of that age and being expected to share his room/bed, you wouldn't have an issue??
I initially wrote that Lanier did a stupid thing and parents made a bad call. I would never either bring a young girl or let my daughter do such a trip.
I notice also note that you suggest Lanier has been unfaithful to his wife, that is a terrible to suggest if it is not true, and not really your business if so.
I suggested no such thing. In fact I clearly stated that "it doesn't matter to me what a married man with two children does on the side".
The parties who related their experiences with Lanier have stated that they were touched and/or propositioned inappropriately.
Whether or not that constitutes being unfaithful is entirely subjective. However, given that I have two sisters and many female friends...I'm going to guess that would be a negative for them should their partners behave that way.
As you say, it's not my business.
However, when you bill yourself as a God fearing "Family Man" and you regularly trot out your wife and children as your motivation for defending yourself and livelihood, it makes fidelity fair game when assessing the likelihood that these YOUNG girls are being truthful.
"I suppose he did not do anything bad but people needs to get over his success and get a life."
Looking at the accusations, and his own statements, I can`t say I see how you get to the "Did not do anything bad." I mean, just his own statements make him a bad manager that would get a few HR cases filed against him and likely fired from a large organization. Which is bad...
And I do lean towards believing a rather large number of accusators, rather than him...
As to his success, I am pretty much at the top of my field - professionally speaking. That field is not photo, Photo is my hobby and love - I shoot models too for the record, nude as well. So he was one of the people I learned from. No envy there, just sadness over another guy proven to be an asshole, making it harder for the rest of us.
The world is full of managers doing stupid stuff. That does not.make him bad. This is most likely blown out of any normal proportions.
Yes he made a few bad calls and I don't know what, and nobody seems to know, so maybe just let it rest.
Stupid stuff and not creating a safe work environment are two vastly different things - and considering the sort of photography you do - I would assume you are very skilled at thinking about safety, and caring for your subjects, which is part of why this is so baffling to me that you fight so hard to defend him those spesific actions.
And when did the fact that there are bad managers out there make it ok? Or that bad managers are automatically good people?
Everything I have said to you, have been based on his own statements.
But now that I say that you say "I believe his side of the story." well, the odds of so many accusers lying is tiny, big lottery win small. That is something you and every one of his defenders should take a moment to think about. Perhaps ask yourself: What in the world would so many women have to gain from making such a false accusation. Ultimately it boils down to that - what would they gain from this.
Maybe look the video?
Seen the video, for the love of all that's good - the thing I have referred to you - and you have replied to several times, is from THAT VIDEO.
Perhaps you did not look as carefully at the video as thoroughly as you should. Speaking of such, have you also watched the videos from the accusers?
Ahhh... so this is why he's no longer a 'Sony Artisan'. He pops up on my YouTube feed now and again, I used to subscribe to him in my first couple years of shutter clicking, but quickly outgrew his 'tutorials'. Always struck me as a 'douche' and it's a fine line between a douche and an abuser. #imwithwhoeveraccusedhim
No he did a live rant talking bad about Canon and Nikon and it's not clear was he totally sober. As far as what I know. I like Lanier and he maybe did a few things unprofessionally but I believe his side of the story.
https://youtu.be/rp24rJdPXFQ
And it starts with a simple code of ethics. No sharing of a hotel room for starters.
I think it was very creepy for him to use Matt Granger's favorite model Steph for his workshop. IMHO that says a lot about him.
I don't follow Matt Granger, but whenever I saw his videos I always just assumed that was his wife or girlfriend because of the way they seem to get along. :|
I took a quick look at Steph's social media once; she has a serious boyfriend from college days. Most of the work they do together (not all) is outdoors.
Why is I tend to think he most likely asked Granger for contact info?
If you've never been put in this position you will never understand what it's like. You will never know the feeling of being threatened with violence and death by the person you thought was there to work with you, that instead decided his hands needed to grope your breasts and try to get inside you. You will never know that feeling of the pain from being slapped for saying no over and over,being choked and the bruises on your wrists from being pinned down and the raw, unrelenting pain of being forcefully raped by a male photographer that towered over you.No, it's not so easy, not so simple.
Sure, you can say it's easy to call the cops, but the fact is, a lot of victim blaming comes from police too. Why did you shoot nude work, they would ask? Didn't you know what you were getting in to? Why didn't you bring someone with you? All the while we're sitting there with physical and mental trauma that NEVER goes away. With a good majority of big names, even small names, getting away scot-free after sexually assaulting someone it feels like a losing battle for victims.
We women are told to bring escorts to shoots, and I encourage it after my own ordeal with male photographers. We're told to look out, to never drink things given to us and watch them at all times. Men do not have to worry about being raped when walking down the road at night, no, your biggest concern is if someone might rob you.
Let's face facts, men need to be more accountable for their gender. You see it all the time with men, esp. on Fstoppers, denouncing the victims cries for help and justice when it comes to sexual assault. A vast majority of men will never understand why we don't report as easily as one would think. The threats of violence are real, the threats of ruining careers is real, the threats of death are real. That on top of the mental and physical trauma leads a victim to not want to speak out. Those that do years down the road do so because they have come to terms with it all, and now feel SAFE to speak out. Women do their part, we stick out for each other, we have safety groups, we have lists, we carry mace, enroll in self-defense classes and do what we can.
But sorry, the blame falls on men. Stop being bros and start being more proactive. This isn't also just men raping women, but men raping men too. If you're offended by what I've said then you're part of the problem.
Wow. “Men” are to blame. What sort of punishment should I receive, having been born with the guilt of this evil gender? Will a financial penalty paid by me to women be sufficient? Perhaps some prison time? Or just some public shaming, for being a man, and therefore in your mind, a rapist.
You obviously lack the mental capacity to grasp what I wrote. Feel free to re-read it, and then come back with another response that is less 'woe is me because I am a man' approach.
Stop with the hyperbole.
I'm aware of male models who were raped during the course of a shoot/afterwards...typically by MALE photographers. The number of women who report harassment/assault is far higher. It's a dirty secret in our business.
The police do tend to take a skeptical view of this type of thing but thankfully that's changing because the law no longer requires a judgment call to be made by the police. Ditto with domestic assault.
She's right, I don't know any male models who walk into a shoot with an escort because they are afraid of shenanigans or worse.
Try to be sensitive on this.
I think the place where you're coming from is probably a good place and you're obviously looking to improve the industry. On that basis, we're on the same side here.
I would, however, urge you to reconsider your proposed methods because currently, they are not only potentially harmful but also short-sighted.
Crystal' the comment "A vast majority of men will never understand why we don't report as easily as one would think" is common in these scenario's. But here's the problem... if you don't report what is the end result? If no one say's anything it allows the individual to mess with other women. And, that's a problem for sure. I'm not a woman so trying to understand a non-report can be difficult. Someone needs to step up to the plate and report. Look at it this way, you may not be the first victim. And, if that is the case, the woman, or women, who failed to report have had a helping hand in later sexual assaults. You simply cannot explain away that fact. Someone MUST report and the sooner the better.
The male sex drive is exceptionally strong. Someone that is not capable of controlling themselves needs to be stopped and stopped quickly as in RIGHT NOW. If victims choose to be quiet the opportunity for the abuser to abuse continues on. That is not fair to the other women who become entrapped with these abusers. The quicker these people are brought to justice the better. Given the fact most people don't change their sexual stripes easily the longer the abuser remains in a prison cell the better.
Exceptionally sad to say the responsibility to report falls onto the victim typically. I don't know how else the problem can be resolved unless you have a better idea.
LMAO...I know a bunch of women who would refute this statement...
"The male sex drive is exceptionally strong"
And it has nothing to do with respecting others and keeping control of yourself.
Perhaps you didn't read the very next sentence after that comment?
By the way... the fact that a "bunch" of women would refute that statement doesn't alter how accurate it is. One look at the porn industry and the huge percentages of male customers basically tells it all. The #metoo movement has made this crystal clear with the onslaught of male abusers being brought into the open.
Yea, I think the statement is absolutely true. Maybe not for all men obviously but certainly the vast majority. Yet most men behave themselves. I assume anyway.
Feel free to disagree however.
I read the entire thing mate, I just took it easy on you with the most hilarious part!
It's a silly statement to make regardless of its direction towards male/female/they whatever. It diminishes the good conduct behaviour we were all supposed to be taught at an early age.
That last sentence of your post had me irked as well but I left it off.
I'll address it now though: The onus has always been on the victim or witness(s) to report harassment/assault. The remedies have been in place a very long time though they might have been tweaked in more recent years to punish those authorities who do not act decisively when they do get a complaint.
As evidenced by the millions of dollars paid to victims in civil awards...Cosby, Weinstein etc.
"I don't know how else the problem can be resolved unless you have a better idea."
A clear invitation for you to listen to others who know better before you comment. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. The one we have rolls just fine as long as we apply it.
Should a complaint be found false, the legal system has solutions. If the wrongly accused wishes it, he/she has civil remedies.
P.S.
Sometimes a victim knows all the right things to do following harassment/assault. However the other factors come into play...stigma/perception/loss of privacy/notoriety/victim blaming-shaming. Sometimes it's self-doubt that somehow he/she may be responsible for it happening. Sometimes its as simple as wanting to keep your job, your home...your sanity.
What in the world is so hard for you to understand about that?
I'd argue that the female sex drive is equally high. And that even mentioning male libido as a justification(?) for sexual abuse is a VERY rapey thing to say...
I re-read my comment. Sorry, but I don't get "justification" out of anything I said. I think we both know there is no justification. And, the statement that followed clearly supports there is no justification.
It's amazing how people interject meaning into commentary that is not present. Having re-read my entire commentary I see nothing to support the 2 responses that took place. Many people prefer to reach their own conclusion as to what is said. We see it all over the place. Words have meaning so rather than interject meaning that is clearly not stated it might be best to accept what is said as what is said. No?
If a woman's (meaning most women) sex drive is as high as a man they certainly control themselves far better than the male species. Too bad so many men don't seem to be able to get themselves under control.
For unknown reasons neither response mentions something that was factual within my commentary. And that is a woman who doesn't report allows the abuser to continue on. C'mon people, many of these cases would not have taken place if the abuser had been reported. I don't know if this is fact or not but my guess is almost everyone of these abusers have abused more than one time and many have abused many, many times. You will never get rid of all abuse but an excellent start is to have EVERY abuse reported. Minus that exactly how do you get it under control?
So, you just wrote all that to essentially victim blame and suggest women are at fault for rape. No, just no. A rapist is at fault for rape, and if that rapist is helped they too are at fault. What I've written is pretty clear as to why victims do not come forward so easily. I understand the male mind is logical, but you need to consider the emotional side a female is dealing with after a rape. Women are driven more by emotion than logic, and being in an emotionally fragile state paired with physical pain, it is very understandable why women to not just call the police. Also, as I mentioned above there still is victim blaming by the police, so what is a victim to do when even the people meant to defend us deny our accusations and cries for help?
"The male sex drive is exceptionally strong."
... what?
Nevermind... -_-
I agree with you, but I definitely don't agree with that: "Let's face facts, men need to be more accountable for their gender."
I am not accountable for what other men do. I am accountable for what I do.
Yes you are accountable, as am I!
Just as we are accountable in the photography industry whenever someone like that behaves that way. It makes it difficult for all and unless we take an active stance on rebuking him we all suffer.
Deleted User An interesting proposition, if we should demand accountability based on gender, should we also demand accountability based on race/ethnicity?
I think so, it takes non-racist white people to 'check' racist white people when they see them being racist. A racist isn't going to take behavioural advice from the minority person they're abusing, are they?
So racism is isolated to white people?
Are the color of our skin a physical attribute different to that of say our eyes, noses, lips etc.?
Should we demand accountability for groups that shares physical attributes aswell?
Paul, I can only assume you live in an idealistic European utopia where racism doesn't exist. YES 'racism' is isolated to white people. Papers have been written on this. ANYONE can be PREJUDICED, or BIGOTED, or XENOPHOBIC. However, RACISM involves the power to adversely discriminate against someone based on race. We live in white run societies, hence institutionally the power is with them. It's ok though Paul, you continue to let racists get away with it. It's not YOUR problem is it.