I wish...

My friend Lori asked me to help her tell her story about her battle with cervical cancer.

In her own words.

I WISH

I wish that I could have sex with my husband without anticipating pain. I have radiation scars in my vagina. Intercourse and dilators are a necessary but painful chore, prescribed by doctors.
Thankfully I have a patient and kind husband I have also been prescribed Pelvic Floor Therapy to remove the scar tissue. I am only a year out of treatment so heal body, heal!

I wish I could still dance. My hips were affected. I did some dancing immediately after treatment but did more damage. Perhaps after therapy, my hips and lower back will get stronger.
I wish that I had the option to have children. I was never pressed before but when I lost the choice, something changed. Not that I want to have children but I want the choice. Cancer took my choices.

I wish I didn’t have radiation damage in my colon. I know that it won’t be forever, or hope it won’t be, but having my colon bleed as a reaction to something I ate is unnerving every time it happens.

I wish that I didn’t have a fear that the cancer will return but it seeps in every so often. Cervical cancer has a high rate (well for me at least) of returning and mine had already started moving but I’m determined that won’t happen. I don’t ever want to do chemoradiation again but I will barrel through it to live. I tear up just thinking about it. Burn it out of me. Beat me up. Laser me. I will live.

I wish that no one ever has to go through what I went through. I wish more oncologists prescribed pelvic floor therapy and myofascial release therapies for cervical cancer patients. It breaks my heart when I meet survivors still suffering.