Hold My Beer, I Can Do Better Than This Professional Photographer

There's nothing wrong with saying your opinion when it has sound arguments. It is normal to have different preferences when it comes to photography style, lighting, gear, and post processing. However, many times people don't put themselves in the shoes of the author and don't know if there was a pebble during the photoshoot.

"That's the best this photographer can do?", "What a mediocre picture!", "I can take better pictures with my phone!", "Even a student photographer can do better!", "I wish I only had this budget, so I could take better pictures!", "This is just with one light! Why didn't they hire me instead?!", "As soon they get a name, they start to take absolutely mediocre photographs and are praised as gods.", and many more.

Many camera owners think professional photographers live in a perfect world where it's easy to make great imagery. It is wrongly assumed that in such a fairy tale universe for photographers:

• Access to interesting subjects and locations is not an issue. They can go wherever they want and photograph for as long as they want. You can always see a line of celebrities in front of their studios slightly longer than an Apple store queue for the latest iPhone.

• Logistics never cause headaches to photographers. They do not have to bother making a media pass with a famous signature on it. They can have any amount of gear at no additional cost delivered even in the deep jungle.

• Subjects that are hard to work with do not exist in their world. Celebrities are patient and always ready for a reshoot. Celebrities are glad to watch the photographer fiddling with their camera controls, nimble as ninjas, searching for that "Cover of a Magazine" shoot mode.

• Budget is never an issue. These photographers are free to ask for any budget because they have a name. Every morning they randomly press a letter on their keyboard and decide to shoot for the big company or a celebrity starting with that letter. "/" works too. They take vacations only when they happen to hit "Esc".

• Time constraints are impossible. A celebrity has a live interview in two minutes? Interviews can wait. Newlyweds gladly skip their first night, because their professional photographer wants them to sit and watch the stars for a six hour pitch black long night exposure.
• Space constraints are never present. The rooms are always big enough. They frequently shoot full length portraits with a 600mm in landscape format in a bathroom. Why 600? Because 50 looks small and cheap. They are professionals after all.

• Weather conditions never bother their photoshoots. The sun doesn't set until the masterpiece is produced. Storms never interrupt a photoshoot. Wind stops blowing once a softbox is put up. Sun rises at 11:00 am, just in time for a lazy professional photographer.

• Gear can do miracles, especially when it's black and expensive. They can even shoot Annie Leibovitz' whole portfolio with a smart phone at noon. One light is for amateurs. Pros use 11 key lights at least. They are always using the "M"-asterpiece shooting mode.
• Gear problems never happen. Batteries are ever charged. Cameras never fail. Radio triggers always work. Lights never skip a pop. Hard drives are always half-empty.
• External lights are heavily used mostly by Canon camera owners because their professional level cameras do not have a built-in flash.
• Fixing it in post is a must. There's a professional grade Photoshop action for anything, especially for bad expressions. That's the secret why professionals always have great images at the end.
• Art directors are there only to bow before the photographer. They never take the lead. The photographer always knows what's best for the client.
   

In a perfect world everything is so easy and it's a shame not to produce masterpieces that please the audience every single time.

Hey, but what about the client in the perfect world?

Well, the client is holding the beer, keeping it cold.

Cheers!