How Does Your Significant Other Feel When You Work With Models?

If you're a photographer who works with models, your line of work can naturally put you in situations that could easily make a significant other uncomfortable. This interesting video examines how one couple overcame their initial issues with exactly that. 

Coming to you from Manny and Diana Ortiz, this interesting video examines a topic I've heard discussed quite a bit among photography friends, but rarely brought up in the open, namely how a couple handles it when one of them is a photographer who works with other models or a model working with other photographers (or in the case of Diana and Manny, both). While there is of course a basis of trust that needs to be established, I've heard from many that the mere circumstances can become tiresome after some time, and it can take some adjustment or active effort to make things work in the context of a relationship. And of course, while every couple is unique, it's helpful to hear from one who had that issue and overcame it. If you've experienced this in your own relationships, I'd be very curious to hear how you worked through it with your partner. Let me know in the comments! 

Lead image by Kaique Rocha, used under Creative Commons. 

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Kenneth Jordan's picture

My wife is both my practice model and my female assistant. 😀

Robert Nurse's picture

Lucky you! My wife hates being photographed.

jonas y's picture

He is often the model himself lol

Glen Grant's picture

I allow my better half to be part of my creative, planning process and my post work.
This way it is an engaged affair vs the one sided feeling that can hinder.

Thanks for sharing this video. Beeing transparent was the most important part. And to be honest, almost none of my shots would have worked without my other half.

Josiah Mendoza's picture

I've made the mistake of becoming good friends with a muse of mine. The issue becomes that my wife doesn't share my passion as my friends, so I tend to want to hang out with them all the time. I'm no longer friends with her but it's definitely something that's hard to fix, especially when I never see my wife's point of view when I think it's harmless.

Dan Howell's picture

why do we care what a wedding photographer and his wife think about shooting models? is she advocating that he only shoot the groom? this is a useless video.

Alex Cooke's picture

Because his wife is a model who works with other photographers and Manny works with other models (he's not just a wedding photographer), as they both said within the first 90 seconds of the video, Dan.

Dan Howell's picture

The title of the video (their title) contradicts the message. It is apparent from his own website that his primary business is wedding, engagement and maternity photography which I'm pretty sure frequently involves photography of women. My point is that this video is likely poorly scripted fiction of an issue that is not present in this couples real life.

Alex Cooke's picture

Look at his Instagram. He’s a Sony Ambassador who shoots models all the time, and that’s a vastly different situation than a bride or mother-to-be, as you know. Furthermore, they also speak about the other side of the issue, his wife being a model. Regardless, other people have made it clear they’ve dealt with this issue and it’s none of my business to speculate about the inner workings of a couple’s relationship, so I’ll leave that to you.

Grant Schwingle's picture

Isn't the issue here models working with photographers and vice versa? I guess in a way, a bride is a 'model' but it's a vastly different scenario than a fashion shoot or other creative shoot with a model. Regardless of whether the issue is actually present in their lives, I'm sure they've had to consider it and I think that makes them more than qualified to make this youtube video (as if anyone has ever considered qualifications for posting a YT video ever...) While I am annoyed that Alex always posts videos that I can't always watch at work, almost all the videos he posts are interesting and relevant. This one is no different.

Alex Cooke's picture

Send me your work schedule and I'll try to post around it. :P (But seriously, thanks for the kind words; they're much appreciated!)

Robert Nurse's picture

This isn't a problem for me as I always let my wife know who, where and what I'm shooting. I've shot nudes a couple of times and letting her see the work puts her at ease. She gets to see what my real focus was.

Jason Lott's picture

This is a great video! I wish it had been around six months ago though when my ex and I were dealing with this exact situation. Ultimately we were not able to overcome the challenge, and for a time it turned something I was passionate about into the source stress in my life. I'm just now getting over the resentment from that.

There was a period of time, about a year, where things were going smoothly. We were able to make that happen by her shooting with other photographers in the area so she could experience what it was like first hand. This really helped a lot, and she was able to start looking at what I did as more of a craft.

I'm not really sure why it fell apart though. There was never any consistency to what made her anxious or upset about my shoots. I'd go through four or five different models with no issue, but then all of a sudden she'd object to me shooting someone for no other reason then she didn't like their vibe. This became INCREDIBLY frustrating, and it started to make me feel like I couldn't be open with her anymore about my work. Like I had to massage the conversations about who and what I'm shooting in order to avoid conflict.

She also had friends in her ear tearing me down, eroding her trust, and creating doubt which was probably the biggest problem. I think that if she had come across this video it would have helped so much. Thanks for putting this out guys!