No, you can't have the raw files. Go away.
These are all things I (and I am sure many of us) have heard at some point. They still drive me crazy, though I have learned how to deal with them more effectively over time.
1. "You can just Photoshop that out, right?"
Yes, I can. That does not mean I want to spend an extra hour staring at my computer because you did not listen to the pre-shoot advice I gave you. In fairness, clients rarely understand just how much of our work happens after the shoot, much like I might not understand just how much prep work goes on behind the scenes before that delicious meal arrives on my plate at a restaurant. I have found that the majority of people are actually quite understanding and respectful when you educate them on what you do.
2. "Can I have the raw files?"
No. Never. Go away. I have found the best way to explain this to clients is to tell them it is like asking a chef for all the uncooked ingredients for the rest of their recipes that you did not eat. You are probably noticing I think in terms of food a lot. I like snacks. Once in a while, I get a particularly persistent wannabe photo editor, and I have to be firm.
3. "Hey, can you bring your camera and just take a few shots?"
Am I physically capable and technically apt enough to bring my camera to your event and take photographs? Yes. Do I want to? No, unless I can bring my financials and you can just do my taxes while we are there. Again, in fairness to the non-photographers who ask this, it is normally said more out of innocent ignorance than out of a desire to take advantage of the situation. People generally assume that since we love taking photos, it is something we always want to do. Normally, explaining to them that just like how they would not want to do their job at a party, I sometimes just want to enjoy myself is enough for them to understand.
4. "Can you make everything black and white except her eyes?"
Cue gentle crying on the inside. I normally just give a gentle response about how part of the reason they hired me was for my personal style and that things of this nature are far outside my aesthetic. I don't mention how horribly cliche these ideas are unless they press the issue, at which point I normally frame it as something that might seem novel in the moment but that they will come to regret in the long run.
5. "Can I have all the photos we didn't pick too?"
Nope, you can't. This is normally followed by: "but they're just sitting on your computer, aren't they?" I have found the best response is to explain that the edited photo is the finished product that represents my work, and I don't want unfinished work with my name attached to it out in the world. Occasionally, they will say they can edit the unfinished photos for me, at which point my answer becomes a firm no.
6. "I have a really nice camera. How much would you charge if you use mine?"
I'll admit this one made me laugh when I read it. This was after he had tried haggling me down from my already very generous student discount several times, so I wasn't really feeling too keen on working with him at this point. I just told him he was purchasing my style and skills, not my camera. He got a non-photographer friend to do the shoot with his really nice camera instead, and the pictures turned out as amateurish as expected.
7. "I saw this on Pinterest! Can we try it?"
This one is always annoying, because you are basically being asked to cast your creative vision aside to copy what's probably some cringe-worthy social media trend. That being said, clients have their own visions and things that excite them too, so I normally try to respond by explaining why we can't recreate the vast resources that went into that shot they saw, but that I am happy to incorporate elements of it. That makes them feel excited and like I care about their involvement in the creative process (and I do).
8. "Do you mind if I get some shots too?"
Yes, I mind. This seems to happen most often at weddings, where everyone wants to document the day on their phone over your shoulder. Given the time constraints, this is not the time to tiptoe around the issue. I tell them we are on a strict schedule and they will have to wait until the reception. If that doesn't work, I spritz them with a spray bottle (I don't do that).
9. "How many megapixels does your camera have? My phone has that many."
That's cool. I normally just smile and tell them their phone sounds really neat. If they persist, I will give them a quick lesson in physics and why their phone's megapixels are not the same as my camera's megapixels.
10. "Wow, you have a really nice camera. It must take great photos!"
Wow, that is a really nice Steinway. It must make your Debussy sound so good. Wow, those are really nice knives. They must make your steak taste so good. Wow, those are really nice scissors. They must make your haircuts look so good.
I have found the best way to deal with this is to immediately flip it back on the client using whatever their occupation is, delivered with a wry smile and a wink. It's a gentle indication of their faux pas, and they normally laugh and apologize, plus it normally fosters a bit of respect for what a photographer does.
Every occupation has annoying misconceptions associated with it; it is human nature to underestimate the complexity of things we have little knowledge of. I try not to take any of it personally and to let it just roll off me or issue a gentle correction if necessary. What are the most annoying things you hate to hear about your work?