Photographer Makes New Year’s Resolution to Stop Buying Unnecessary Gear in 2019, Breaks It Before 2019 Even Begins

Photographer Makes New Year’s Resolution to Stop Buying Unnecessary Gear in 2019, Breaks It Before 2019 Even Begins

Tampa Bay, Florida: A local photographer who made a New Year's resolution this morning to not purchase any unnecessary gear in 2019 unfortunately only lasted 90 minutes before breaking it.

The photographer, Martin Lambert, made the resolution this morning at around 9 a.m. after a phone conversation with his friend, Lance Garrett. Garrett begins the story:

Yeah, Martin doesn't exactly have the best self control when it comes to buying gear. I know it's exciting stuff, but do you know anyone else who gets a fruit basket with a thank you card from B&H every year? I asked him about his kid's college fund, and he just laughed and said: 'Jimmy's a smart kid. I'm sure he'll get a scholarship.' Then, I reminded him Jimmy got a C in algebra this quarter, and that seemed to knock Martin back to reality, at least for a bit. 

Lambert took a few minutes after the phone call to reevaluate if his G.A.S. had gotten out of hand:

I took a walk around the house and began to wonder if my photo-spending had gotten out of hand. Am I the only photographer who has commandeered the walk-in closet from his wife to make a walk-in camera body gallery? Surely, I'm not the only photographer who keeps their mugs in the dishwasher so they can use the extra cabinet space to store spare lenses. So what if I own a camera body and lens library for each brand? Canon for portraits. Sony for landscapes, if I ever decide to get into them. Nikon for when my daughter starts playing sports in eight or nine years. Fuji in case my Canon batteries are charging. Leica because... ok, I just thought the Leica looked cool.

Seeing his wife's clothes stacked in piles around the bedroom because there was no room in the closet, Lambert made a resolution not to buy any gear he didn't absolutely need in 2019. His wife picks up the story:

He doesn't need any gear, period. He's an accountant, for crying out loud! I was so happy when he told me he made that resolution, then he came back an hour later mumbling something about a medium format Fuji. I reminded him about his resolution not to buy any new gear in 2019 and he said: 'well technically, there are still 14 hours until 2019, right?' I want my closet back!

While UPS couldn't provide exact details, they did confirm to Fstoppers that a tracking number for a shipment addressed to Lambert that was insured for a high value appeared in their system a few hours later.

Said Lambert:

Please don't tell my wife.

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27 Comments

Yan Pekar's picture

What is so special, interesting or unique about this ordinary and boring story? Was it really worth writing about it? I have a feeling Fstoppers is struggling to find any meaningful material to write about.

Eric Salas's picture

I see your New Year’s Resolution is to find the joke within satirical pieces before commenting... your efforts will pay off soon.

Yan Pekar's picture

If it is a joke then the effect it made is quite opposite - it sounds as a rumour, as if somebody was digging into the person's private and dirty laundry. I am sorry, English is not my mother tongue; I hope the meaning was clear. It may sound like a joke to some people, but not others. Everyone is different. If you find it funny - that's fine. I find it boring (how many times we have heard about buying / not buying new gear?:), and I said what I think. No reason to be sarcastic, Eric. Happy New Year.

Angelo Duarte's picture

Mate, not knocking you, you speak more languages than me I'm sure - but clearly you've missed the joke, this isn't about people being different, or the article being boring (not that it's the funniest thing in the world) - it's really just because as a non native english speaker this was hard for you to grasp and it's gone completely over your head, not sure why you feel the need to be so critical about that.

Yan Pekar's picture

Angelo, thank you for your comment. It is not that I did not get the joke. It's more about - I am looking for unique, interesting or valuable content. How many times we have heard of / read articles about "buying / not buying a new gear?" Speaking of people being different (you probably did not get what I meant; I am sorry if I was not able to explain it clearly), I was referring to a case when some may see it as a joke, others - not. I expressed what I was feeling, and I do find this content boring. It's my opinion. That's it. As for the critics - when we post an article or images publicly, we should be ready for critics. Overall, I would love to see more interesting and unique content rather than jokes about things that many of us have heard million times. Happy New Year, matey:)

Elan Govan's picture

Amazing isn't it?. It is only January the 1st and the old attitude of yesteryear is still alive and kicking. I have read quite a few of Alex's write-ups here and not every native English speaking individuals agree with Alex's view point and they have been critical of his articles.

But then fstoppers articles do have the tendency to start a row. At least Yan had the good grace for a non native English speaking individual to say "Happy New Year" It is very English to be critical with small dose of good manners at the end of it.

Yan Pekar's picture

Elan, thank you. New Year is celebrated all over the world:) Not just by English speaking people:) I read many articles written by Alex, and most of them have amazing content - either from educational or informative point of view. But when the same joke or subject is repeated many times, it becomes less of a joke, and more of a boring thing (speaking about "buying / not buying a new gear).

Angelo Duarte's picture

Elan when did I say all native English speakers agree with Alex and don’t criticise him?

As I said not knocking the guy, a lot of life long English speakers miss satire, but if you’ve missed it as widely as in yan’s first comment, it’s not about the quality of the article it’s about your understanding, and you aren’t really in a position to criticise the peice. That is all I’ve said.

Looks like you’ve taken unnecessary offence to the English speaking comment. I’m sorry it upsets you, if it helps I’m shit at all the other languages.

It’s still the 31st for another 5 hours here. Happy new year for tomorrow.

Elan Govan's picture

No offence taken, just making an observation and the language used. People have a right to disagree without being told they "lack the intellectual understanding" It is very condescending.

And stop using sentences like "Looks like you’ve taken unnecessary offence to the English speaking comment. I’m sorry it upsets you"

Can I also add satire changes over time. Good example of this is Monty Python "Life of Brian".

Have a beer and enjoy yourself. Happy New Year.

Angelo Duarte's picture

Elan you’re putting words in my mouth, not sure if it’s deliberate but it’s kinda proving my point.

Nobody said anyone lacked intellectual understanding, I started by saying the complete opposite. I’ve simply said satire in a different language can and will easily go over someone’s head.

I would expect anyone else to call me out if I waded in with strong opinions on something that I had clearly misunderstood, but it seems to be a bit of a sore spot as I mentioned languages...? As I said, I started by complimenting the guy for being able to speak another language I never meant any offence, I was just letting him know he’s singing from a different hymn sheet.
Enjoy your new year, I’m not a big drinker.

Elan Govan's picture

Actually you did by implying that "a non native English speaker this was hard for you to grasp and it's gone completely over your head".

It is an observation. But you have the right to disagree...so we shall leave things at that. Good day and Happy New Year. i don't drink either, but it was meant as a "figure of speech"

Eric Salas's picture

Happy New Years man, no hate involved, just messing with you. Fstoppers has been posting these lately to break up the Z6/7 - EOSR bashing articles stating the truth with them being lack luster.

Alex Cooke's picture

Happy New Year to all of you. Big group hug. :)

Lighten up, Francis...

Simon Patterson's picture

Part of the fun of satire is reading the comments of people who take it seriously. This time we are rewarded in the very first comment! Giddy up, yeehar! 😁

Yan Pekar's picture

Part of the fun of satire is reading the comments of people who are looking to start a fight, or have nothing else to do. If you are looking for something valuable to read, I can recommend a couple of good books:) Happy New Year:)

user-216690's picture

<sarcasm> this humour must cease </sarcasm>

Technically he didn't break his resolution at all. He was trying to get all his gear shopping done before the new year started.

Tyler Jacobs's picture

Hilarious! Although the medium format Fuji does handle very nice.... very very nice.

Alex Cooke's picture

Stop saying that! Most of these satire articles are satires of myself in some way. 😉

Tyler Jacobs's picture

::cough cough:: hehe.... I'd be driving around looking for the UPS guy =) That camera is so smooth, so smooth. The linen closet may be more suitable =)

Michael Yearout's picture

I think it is very funny. Well worth a post.

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