We've all been there. Our creativity is stagnant, our work has ground to a halt. We begin to convince ourselves that if only we had that new lens or body, we'd be creating world-class images again. Of course, the moment we actually buy that new piece of gear, the reality that our photos are not suddenly transformed sets in. One man had just such a realization, and the result is hilarious.
One of the greatest personal victories of my life was overcoming the clutches of the dreaded Gear Acquisition Syndrome (GAS). I would frequently go down a dark hole: reading reviews, watching YouTube videos, marveling at MTF charts, convincing myself that surely, this lens was the missing piece in my work. Of course, 99% of the time, that's not the case. I still struggle with relapse on occasion, but I've learned to call on my support network. A fellow writer, Robert Baggs, and I frequently geek out over gear, and that seems to be enough to quench the gear lust. One man wasn't so lucky, however.
After purchasing a Nissin Di866 Mark II flash, this Boston-area photographer quickly felt buyer's remorse:
OK, so let's get this out in the open, right from the start, I'm a stupid shit for buying this speedlite. An undisputed idiot.
I bought a Canon DSLR and immediately thought I was an expert, and of course, I needed the the best speedlite on the market. Yeah, baby! I'm gonna be the king of photography in my family!
He then perfectly encapsulates the common phenomenon of thinking we need gear that far outpaces our current abilities, only to be surprised when it doesn't drastically improve those abilities:
So, I do all kinds of scientific research, you know, watch a shitload of YouTube videos and finally determine that the Nissin Di866 Mark II Flash is the speedlite for me... This speedlite has a guide number of 198. I shit you not, One Hundred and freaking Ninety Eight! I thought this meant it was bright. What I didn't realize is that 198 means it's like 500 times brighter than the sun.
Within an hour or so, my cat's whiskers were burnt off, the curtains were smoldering, and granny had developed cataracts from this damned speedlite!
And finally, he realizes where he probably got the inspiration to purchase such a light in the first place:
What I did notice, however, was that every single photo was so brightly and evenly lit. There was nary a shadow to be seen. Where had I seen this before? It looked so familiar... and it came to me... PORN!
The only sensible use for this speedlite is porn. The light rays this speedlite produces will work their way into every nook and cranny of the human body and light them perfectly. Nothing will be left to the imagination! Imagine the possibilities! If you are a pornographer (or aspiring pornographer), you NEED this flash!
If I lived near Boston, I would definitely consider buying from this guy. Check out the full ad in all its glory here.