Portrait Photographer Surprised to Discover His Lens Has Apertures Other Than f/1.4

Portrait Photographer Surprised to Discover His Lens Has Apertures Other Than f/1.4

New York, New York: A natural light portrait photographer had a scary moment when he accidentally bumped a dial on his camera, changing his lens’ aperture to f/5.6. 

Ross Watkins, who dubs himself a natural light Instagram photographer, says the incident happened when he was out shooting portraits with an Instagram model:

We were out shooting some sick stuff for my Instagram — you know, natural light, golden hour, bokehlicious stuff. I think I might have bumped a dial or something, because all of a sudden, all my bokeh disappeared!

Watkins notes his first reaction was to call tech support:

I called support and told them my lens was completely broken. All my beautiful bokeh? Gone. Why was other stuff in focus besides my model? Why did my camera automatically slow the shutter speed way down? What kind of cheap lens is this? My followers don’t come to my page to see the buildings behind my models too!

Tech support specialist Jenny Potterweight picks up the story:

Some guy called saying his lens was broken, so we asked him what the symptoms were. He said that ‘the bokeh function’ was broken, which was a little confusing. We asked him to clarify, and he started ranting about how the images weren’t ‘hashtag worthy’ or ‘bokehlicious,’ which really didn’t clear things up. We finally asked him to email a sample image. After opening the file, which he not so subtly named ‘WHEREISTHEBOKEH!!!!?.JPEG,’ it looked like a completely normal shot — your typical Instagram model, golden hour in the city in some sort of ironic pose type of thing. Checking the EXIF data showed it was shot at f/5.6, so it wasn’t surprising to see a larger depth of field.

Watkins picks the story back up:

Tech support got back on the phone and asked me to switch the lens back to F slash 1.4 and see if the images looked as expected. I had no idea what they were talking about, but apparently, my camera has some sort of built-in bokeh control with weird numbers on it? Why would it have that? What’s with the numbers? They kept telling me about the ‘death of Field.’ I think they were drunk. Who is this Field guy? Why do I care about him dying? What does that have to do with my bokeh? Anyway, I changed the weird numbers and my bokeh came back.

Said Watkins of his experience with f/5.6:

I don’t like it. What’s the point? I taped down the dial so that won’t happen again. Sorry to hear about that Field guy.

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83 Comments

Previous comments
Jason Lorette's picture

Shhh...or they'll start making cameras with built in "filters" #rolleyes.

Brian Matiash's picture

How am I supposed to #DoItForTheGram without my bokehliciousness?

Jeff Walsh's picture

Another BRILLIANT article...watch it Fstoppers...we might start expecting this level of quality all the time. Also, can we do an article on fairy lights? Maybe a lens ball gettin hit by the ocean? There really is an endless supply for articles of this caliber.

Robert Escue's picture

This is brilliant Alex!!! When I was in the Navy, Photomates would pull gags on each other like "get me a box of f stops". If I was the support technician I would have tried to sell this guy "bokeh restoring fluid" just to see if he would bite.

Julian Ray's picture

Wait a minute! This is photography we're talking about here. It's no laughing matter!

Jenny Edwards's picture

Fantastic!

Alvin Toro's picture

Please pin / sticky this to the top of the page. LOL!

Dan Aubie's picture

Hahaha funny stuff.

Adrian Sidney's picture

How did he change the aperture in "P" mode?

Mark Keyes's picture

😅😅😂😝😹 fabulous !!!!!!!!

Tomas Ramoska's picture

This is main reason why I canot put function wheel lock switch on DSLR :)

Scott Weaver's picture

Very phunny! Thanks for posting.

Christian Wahla's picture

Obviously Alex Cooke has a promising career writing for The Onion (as long as he continues to write for Fstoppers).

Manuel R's picture

He managed to put a question mark in the filename? I am impressed!

Eloise Speight's picture

The worrying thing is... I still don’t know if this is a true story!

Ajay Walia's picture

This is very useful for photography,
Thanks for sharing...👍

Sharon Hunt's picture

Beautiful to read

Uneternal Van de Dood's picture

Yet another episode from "Things that never happened"

Robert Proctor's picture

Wow, pretty sure that photographer was a huge flamer. Anyways, I was more annoyed by the story than anything... I honestly didn't find it funny at all, more sad and annoying than anything.

David Lyon's picture

I feel your pain, nothing like hitting the wrong settings on a camera.

klip knap's picture

ok so I expected the article to be about a photographer, who discovered some new creative aspect of his style or there about....But this?! WTF is this?

Paul Szilard's picture

He will probably call back that it's gone all BLACK!!! Someone tell him that he has to take the lens cap off!

John Catalano's picture

LMFAO IM CRY LAUGHING RIGHT NOW