Tampa, Florida: A local photographer canceled a sizable contract from a prominent car magazine after finding out the job would require using the Pen Tool in Photoshop, noting: "I'd rather nail Jell-O to a tree."
The contract, rumored to be valued somewhere north of $100,000, initially seemed like a dream come true for Thomas Adams, a lifelong car enthusiast and automotive photographer, who noted that his years of hard work seemed to finally be paying off:
I was going to settle my student loans, remodel our kitchen, and get our daughter, Mary, her first pony. They were going to fly me to their headquarters to photograph 30 different models: a full week of nothing but shooting some of my favorite cars and getting paid six figures to do so.
The trouble started, however, when the magazine requested that Chris create composites of the cars in different environments to show off their versatility:
I knew what that meant right away. I asked if I could print them, cut them out with scissors, then scan them back in, but they said 'no,' even though I told them I have a really nice scanner.
Adams tells Fstoppers he did his best to learn the Pen Tool:
I mean, I tried. I really did. But what's up with that thing? Have you ever tried to draw two curves connected by a corner? I did. You know what happened? I drew a heptagon and somehow subscribed to a steak of the month club. I don't even eat meat!
Adams persevered, eventually gaining a modicum of proficiency, but notes the tipping point came when the company got back to him with more specifics:
I had just learned the trick for making 90-degree angles, then they came back to me and told me one of the cars would be the Pontiac Aztek. I'm the biggest 'Breaking Bad' fan out there, but that car has more wonky angles than a bunch of drunk mathematicians with protractors.
Unfortunately, that was the last straw for Adams, who withdrew from the project, noting that he has encouraged his daughter to pursue table tennis instead.
I had to make sure it wasn't April 1st. I'd sign up for to a steak of the month club.
for a 100K learn how to use the pen tool.
or just hire someone to do it.
I'll take the gig...
BS, surely? For a $100K job you have enough to just outsource that part of the work to someone else.
What Jan said exactly
Just wanted to say the same. Just a BS...
That's what I was thinking.....
This, 100%. BTW Jan, love your work. I'm in Perth if you ever have room for an extra pair of hands on set.
Seriously? I think that I'd farm out the task if it meant not buying ones daughter a pony...back to the used car lot to shoot their inventory.
Have you been fighting with your pen tool Alex?
I'm Thomas Adams.
Every time one of these comes up (brilliant by the way, Alex), it completely baffles me how many people don't seem to understand satire. Sad really...
Probably because more and more people are getting tired of seeing satire everywhere. I am one of those people. At least this one didn't involve politics.
As for that tool in Photoshop, what do you expect? Photoshop is in my opinion the most unintuitive mainstream app ever made.
People aren't complaining about yet another satire article - they're taking it seriously, i.e. not getting it.
Or it could be that this joke didn't have a punchline or a point.
Satire doesn't have punchlines. The point is that the pen tool is a pain to use for the author.
The obvious "point" for some people is that a discussion of the pen tool, and any other headaches about Photoshop, could have been addressed in a different and more serious manner.
This has absolutely nothing to do with my response to Michael.
Of course it does.
The point is they are here on this site with the reasonable expectation that this is not the Onion.
No, the point is that people should be able to recognize satire without a massive label over the top of the article telling them it is such. Satire does not belong in a sandbox (i.e. The Onion). A simple Google search for "fooled by satire" shows the sad state I spoke of. People should be able to recognize satire in any environment, as it can appear in any environment. Expectations don't always match reality.
Clearly most of the responders to this article that missed the satire are not on this site for satire. Satire is fine as part of a standup comedy routine or comedy TV show/movie, but as an everyday part of life there is nothing really positive about it, at least not for most adults. At best it is buffoonery and at worse it is an expression of cynicism and sarcasm. Reality is the reasonable expectation for most adults that come to this site.
Your dislike of satire and your preference for it to not be seen on this website are irrelevant to any of my comments. Your choice to deride it serves no purpose whatsoever in the current discussion and therefore, can only be seen as a means of trying to deflect the topic of discussion (also known as trolling). You can take that childishness elsewhere.
The rest of your response ignores the fact that recognizing satire is an important capability in society as satire is often shared, by those ignorant to its existence, as factual. Yet again, a simple Google search of "fooled by satire" will show how often people are unable to detect it, and then share it as legitimate news. It doesn't matter if you expect it or not. I certainly wouldn't expect it on CNN, Fox News, or the New York Times - but, yet again, do that search and you'll find they've shared satirical articles as truth. The ability to detect the articles as such would have saved them much embarrassment, and their readers/viewers a few points on their blood pressure.
So unless you have some legitimate argument for why people should NOT be able to detect satire, we're done here. There is nothing else to discuss.
I have been discussing the satire presented in this article, as you have, so everything I have said is relevant.
You know it is possible to disagree with someone without resorting to calling them a troll, something I am obviously not. I extended that courtesy to you. You accusing me of trolling is what is "irrelevant."
I've already shared how I feel about satire, as many other people have, so I'll leave it at that.
@Alexander I wasn't addressing who mostly uses it, only that it is well known. In that sense it is most certainly mainstream.
What's the point of this article?
Happy Birthday Alex MoFo Cooke is the point I believe
Haha awesome!
SERIOUS MAN WANTS SERIOUS ARTICLE. SHAME.
ok, NOW I have heard everything.
I'm calling BS Alex because for that amount of an invoice I can outsource clipping paths all day long. ClippingProviderdotcom
Wow guys, y'all really can't recognize satire?
I'm sure more people would recognise satire if it was actually funny.
This all day long
Haha
Good thing he stopped before he drew an octagon.
Lol! The Onion has invaded Fstoppers! Loved it. =)
Agreed ! The pen tool is definitely the least intuitive and worst ever conceived tool.
this story can't be real. no one will really turn down 100k for having to use the pen tool. Take the damn pics and Hire someone to do the pen job. problem solved.
Whilst there may be a sizeable amount of tongue-in-cheek in this article, I can understand the frustration. CorelDraw had the bezier curve tool working to perfection some twenty years ago. Adobe never has had it working as well - and as intuitively.
So did Macromedia Freehand - the superior tool to Adobe Illustrator that Adobe bought and left to die...still mad about that...
Wow people, wow.. Of course this is not real, no need to point it out! I laughed! Great read!
Funny article. The photographer is introduced as Thomas Adams in the beginning and then referred to as Chris a few paragraphs down. Clear giveaway.
Not to mention it's got the "Humor" tag lol.
I logged in to say this article is stupid. I get the satire. Im just not here for it.
Picky, picky.
You obviously are here, you commented...
He said he isn't here for the *satire.* I would bet it is safe to say most readers to this site do not come here for satire either. I don't. Most of the responses point to that.