How Hair Can Save the World

How Hair Can Save the World

If you touch my hair I will hurt you. In life, we take many chances. Like, riding our bike with no hands, getting minimum coverage on our car insurance and petting stingrays. However, for the chosen few who have the superpower of catching our eye with their beautiful hair, there is no chance to be taken. The following is meant only for a lighthearted fable for this Friday.

I am of course referring to really, really, really, really, good looking people, commonly referred to as models. These immaculate image makers don’t leave chance unchallenged when it comes to their hair. For if they did, chance could wreck their fantastic fur follicles. When I ask models what causes them the most stress in life? The unanimous answer is their hair. From male pattern baldness to accidental electrocution, to some drunken jealous ex-lover at a party who wants to get back at their mom and thinks taking a pair of clippers to a model’s head will make them feel better. Nations have gone to war over such abominable acts. All the models I shoot require me to get an insurance policy against my flash fading their hair as a precaution. To models, there is no price too high to protect their ridiculously good looks. 

Most models have a strict hair care regimen that is adhered to out of fear as much as the desire to have terrific tufts. The list is endless. From using organic goat cheese aged in marble caldrons to beeswax infused with lavender scented mothballs, to weekly hair combings with a partially sedated porcupine. The regimen is as effective as it is unique. The lack of hair care could be devastating for a career, but more importantly for mankind in general. The meticulous care given to hair, particularly for models, is not to be taken lightly. For most models who possess miracle like physical characteristics, their hair is usually their money maker and it is the vehicle in which they are able to capture our attention and give us the hope we need to set new goals and reach for the stars as we blast off through this galaxy we call life. There is a reason the hair is at the top of our bodies. Because it demands our attention and will accept nothing less! Few industries have the research, marketing, and shelf space dedicated to their existence as hair does.   

When I see a photograph of a beauty basking in the sun of the Caribbean, the state of their hair can make me feel the sunshine while viewing the photo with the long luscious locks gently blowing to and fro in the breeze off of the ocean. Additionally, when I view an ad for an amusement park that pictures free flowing manes being forced up as the roller coaster speeds into a 3G dive, I can feel my stomach drop as I envision myself right there with the pleasant people in the picture. Whatever my goal is as a photographer, the hair is what drives the train. Without it, the complete story is not told. How you have it cut, layered, colored, spiked, feathered, cropped, pulled, tussled, or teased can change the entire perception of the photograph. Six out of four models agree that not only is their hair motivation for the common man, but their hair motivates their coworkers, their household pet, and themselves as they go about their daily lives. Striving to bring peace and joy through the curls in their shoulder length strands.  

It is our job as photographers to capture these photographic pearls and polish them to convey the message. That message is: you too, with hair this good can achieve great things. Whether it be overcoming acid reflux, deciding between Jamaica and Aruba for vacation or increasing your credit score, the hair has the power.

Please use it responsibly.  

Image used with permission of Social Design House.

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7 Comments

Gladdens my heart that male pattern baldness released me from this burden long ago... But some days I miss my thick golden locks that could turn the eye of the sassiest golden doodle!

Eric Cat's picture

Messy and obvious article.It's definitely got style and almost zero sense.

William Howell's picture

I saw, I believe it was Cindy Crawford, (but I'm not for sure), say that she and other super models washed their hair like every two weeks but they constantly comb and brush their hair to maintain luster.
Does anyone know if that's true?

If it is, that's disgusting, and entirely unnecessary if they think they are getting a benefit out of doing so.

Eric Cat's picture

It could be true. if person got naturaly dry hair. Also the less u wash ur hair the more slowly skin fat produced so u don't have to wash it too often.

That's what conditioners are for, in the same way that someone should apply a moisturizer to dry skin. Also, in addition to washing off the acclimation of naturally produced oils, you are washing away dirt and odors that accumulate in hair. It doesn't take long for hair to smell awful. Men usually wash their hair everyday when they bathe so there's nothing preventing women from doing the same thing. Dryness is also something that is typically caused through malnutrition and not drinking enough water. It can be remedied rather easily.

Trey Amick's picture

Just remember, with great hair comes great responsibility. :D