Aruba: a wedding guest collapsed and was attended to by medics after witnesses said he spent the majority of the wedding nervously watching the photographer and mumbling things such as: "No, no, that's the wrong angle, you idiot! The D750? Seriously!?"
The man, identified only as Bob, the uncle of the bride, was initially believed to have suffered some sort of heat stroke or dehydration. Said Medic Jenny Smith:
It's Aruba, so it's not uncommon for wedding guests in full suits and dresses to have a bit of trouble with the sun or dehydration. He seemed a little warm and disoriented, so we took him to a cool area and got some fluids in him. It didn't seem to help, though; in fact, he seemed to get more anxious and kept asking where the 'fill flash' was. At first, we were a bit worried it was more serious, but then, the wedding photographer assured us that maybe something else was to blame.
Wedding Photographer Jared Thatcher picks up the story:
Yeah, that Bob guy was a little strange. You know when you just have a feeling someone is watching you? All day, every time I would turn around, he'd be staring at me with this sort of pained scowl. One of my assistants walked by him at some point and said he kept muttering about lens choices and light placement. His wife kept grabbing his arm and whispering: 'Bob! Stop it! They know what they're doing! Do NOT get your camera out. I told you to leave it at the hotel! There's no such thing as a fourth shooter!'
Wedding guests noted Bob's strange behavior, which seemed to culminate in some sort of collapse. Said Ted, the wedding's DJ:
I've never seen someone look so unhappy and anxious at a wedding. He kept pulling what looked like a DSLR out from under the table and his wife kept swatting his hand and telling him to put it away. Then, while his wife was in the bathroom, he walked up to the photographer and said: 'The D750, eh? You don't think the D850 would be better for this? I own the D850.' His wife came rushing back and dragged him away just as he started taking portraits over the photographer's shoulder and telling assistants to 'turn up the fill,' much to their confusion. Where did he even get a trigger for those lights?
After another three or four incidents like that, I saw his wife take his camera and hand it off to their daughter, who seemed to then hide it somewhere. I thought whatever was going on was over, and by that time, everyone was out on the dance floor. Bob's wife dragged him out on the floor and he started shaking and twitching, and I just thought he was getting his groove on, though I never pegged him as an EDM fan. The crowd was yelling: 'Go Bob! Go Bob! It's your birthday! Get down!' But then, he started sweating profusely, and when the bass dropped, he let out a weird scream and yelled something like: 'D850! Fill flash! Why no primes!? Your ISO is too high! That's the wrong angle!' He then collapsed and just repeatedly muttered: 'The D850 has more megapixels than the D750. The D850 has more megapixels than the D750.'
After being attended to by the medic, Bob's wife took him to their car and gave him back his D850, which he was last seen clutching near his heart while sleeping in the passenger seat. Fstoppers will keep you updated on Uncle Bob's condition.
Lead image by Scott Webb, used under Creative Commons.