The fact that you are trying some different things should be applauded. Unfortunately this photo just doesn't quite make it. I feel the hair should be combed and arranged such that it does not cast a shadow in a streak across her face. The left eye (her right) is too dark but might be better if there was a catch light there, and the huge lashes are to a good look. I'm distracted by the bright light behind her head although it's not too bad, and I have mixed feelings about the orange sparkly things in the foreground. Keep working on this theme, take more photos and see what you can come up with.

I agree with Anonymous Reviewer on the idea that you're onto something here. I do disagree on some of the more critical elements he said. Keeping working on it.