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Random Photo Marketing Generator Will Make You Laugh

Random Photo Marketing Generator Will Make You Laugh

Quick! Can you tell me why a super high transmittance radially asymmetric flourite element is so important to your images? If you can't, that's probably a good thing, because I just made it up. This web app that mimics the sometimes excessively jargon-laden marketing material of photo companies will give you a good laugh.

If you've ever read a camera gear announcement, you know it can be a bit like watching the famed retroencabulator, an inside joke among engineers that highlights how absurdly full of jargon, technical language, and hyperbole marketing materials can be simply for the sake of appearing impressive. Roger Cicala of Lensrentals and Seb Pearce, a software developer, created a photographic version of this, and the results are both uncannily similar to a lot of marketing materials and downright hilarious. Check out some examples:

Using space-age technology including multiple aspheric elements and the industry’s most accurate autofocus system, this lens can take your imaging to new achievements. Own an instant and make it your memory forever. Like all of our products, this lens is appropriate for almost any situation. Experience the old-world craftsmanship for yourself. This will make an impressive complement to any photographer’s armamentarium providing an all-around lens for everyday and architectural photography.

Offering beautiful bokeh while minimizing axial chromatic aberration and 7th order astigmatism, this lens offers the performance required by today’s high-resolution cameras. This lens provides a classic focal length, offering a remarkable opportunity to jump-start your innate creativity. Designed for the true artist, it offers the look and feel most only wish for, at a price that is surprisingly affordable. We are pleased to offer the world’s finest zoom lens, featuring 4 extra low dispersion elements, 5 aspheric elements, and our new anti-glare coatings providing unparalleled distortion control while providing superb light gathering capabilities. See people and places with a dramatic clarity you never thought was possible.

We are pleased to offer the world’s finest telephoto lens, featuring 4 extra low dispersion elements, 3 aspheric elements, and our new anti-glare coatings providing unparalleled distortion control while providing amazing resolution. Our advanced 4th generation coatings provide you more flexibility then you’ve ever experienced. Now you can create images with a superior rendering. Vignetting and Flare are so well controlled as to be virtually non-existent. See your cat with a new perspective you never thought was possible.

Want to laugh some more? Try the generator for yourself here!

[via PetaPixel]

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2 Comments

Ricky Perrone's picture

So good!

Tim R's picture

I want to believe