New camera gear is really cool. But you know what else is cool? Sitting in your new hot tub while your miniature horse grazes nearby. It's time to look at the things you can spend your money on instead of new camera gear.
$6,500: Canon 1D X Mark III
The 1D X Mark III is one astoundingly good camera. It features 5.5K 12-bit internal raw video, a crazy 20 fps continuous rate (with mechanical or electronic shutter), triple the autofocus points (now with Deep Learning Technology), smart controller built into the AF-On button, illuminated buttons, and much more. It's pretty hard to miss a shot with this thing.
Also $6,500: The Ultimate Luxury Toilet
Who actually has a bathroom like this?
The Numi by Kohler (ever notice how all the most luxurious products are "[product] by [manufacturer]" instead of "[manufacturer] [product]"?) is one heck of a toilet. It offers an elongated bowl for extra comfort, adjustable height, motion-activated hands-free cover and seat, and dual-flush levels (0.6 gallons or 1.28 gallons) for being more environmentally friendly. And those are just the basics, so let's get into the true luxury.
There's an advanced bidet with self-cleaning, precision air dryer, and deodorizer, heated seat and foot warmer, ambient lighting, emergency flushing to allow up to 100 flushes in case of a power outage, touchscreen remote with magnetic wall mount, a built-in speaker with Bluetooth, and Alexa. That's right. This toilet has Alexa. Need I say more?
$1,100: Sigma 85mm f/1.4 Art
The Sigma 85mm f/1.4 Art was easily one of the most anticipated lenses in modern memory, and it delivered. Featuring two low dispersion elements and one aspherical element, Super Multi-Layer coating, a Hyper Sonic AF motor, and a rounded nine-blade diaphragm for smoother bokeh, it delivers sharp and contrasty images with super-shallow depth of field at a price that significantly undercuts first party options.
Also $1,100: A Miniature Horse
Sure, all that bokeh is cool, but you know what is even cooler? A freaking miniature horse. Are you single? Imagine all the people you'll meet when you take Li'l Sebastian for a walk and they wonder what kind of dog you have. Science has shown that owning a dog makes a person more attractive, so I'm pretty sure owning a miniature horse makes you basically irresistible. Also, who doesn't want to snuggle a miniature horse while they're watching TV? Think of all the things you can do with your tiny valiant steed. Start an Instagram account for Li'l Sebastian. Become a miniature horse influencer. Make bank. Retire early. You're welcome.
$750: Sony RX100 III
I love Sony's RX100 line. They have a great, relatively large sensor for a point and shoot, they're super compact, and they're loaded with features. The RX100 III comes with an unusually bright 24-70mm f/1.8-2.8 lens, 20.1-megapixel 1-inch sensor, 10 fps burst, a pop-up OLED viewfinder, and lots more. It's a fantastic pocket camera for enthusiasts.
Also $750: An Inflatable Hot Tub
When I was a kid, my aunt had a hot tub at her house, and I was always super jealous. Alas, our family home just wasn't set up to accommodate a hot tub. I wish I had known about this inflatable hot tub back then. I could have plopped this thing down in the yard or even the living room and played my Nintendo 64 while enjoying the therapeutic effects. You can still benefit, though! Imagine you are going to a friend's party and they ask you to bring something, and instead of a bottle of wine, you bring an entire hot tub. You'll be the star of every get-together. Need to make those boring office meetings more enjoyable? Bring your hot tub to work and have the meetings in it. Tired of sitting in those uncomfortable lecture hall chairs for your three-hour chemistry class? Hot tub. Have a soak with your miniature horse! The possibilities are endless.
$1,700: Profoto B10
Lots of professionals use Profoto equipment, and the Profoto B10 is a fantastic option with lots of on-location power without the need for an AC connection or battery pack. This tiny monolight offers 250 Ws of power over a 10-stop range, recycle times of 0.05 to 2.2 seconds, a freeze mode with a duration of 1/50,000 second, 400 full-power flashes per battery charge, TTL capabilities, wireless control via the Air Remote or phone app, High-Speed Sync, and a variable color temperature and dimmable LED modeling light, plus access to Profoto's line of modifiers. Quite the light.
Also $1,700: Hire a Line Stander for 100 Hours
Image by Bundesarchiv, B, Creative Commons.
You are an important person with important things to do. You do not have time to stand in line to wait for things. What can you do? Hire a line stander. That's right, you can pay people to stand in line for you. Forgot to make a reservation and the restaurant said there's an hour wait? Line stander. Renewing your license at the DMV? Line stander. New iPhone coming out in two days? Grab a tent and get to work, line stander. Think of all the extra time you'll have to hang out in your hot tub with your tiny equine!
$70,000: Hasselblad H6D-400c MS Medium Format Camera and Lenses
Need the ultimate camera? I've got your winner right here. With a 100-megapixel full-size medium format sensor offering 15 stops of dynamic range and 16-bit color along with 400-megapixel multi-shot mode, you will cry when you see the files the Hasselblad H6D-400c MS produces. You'll need lenses too, of course, and this price includes the HC Macro 120mm f/4 II, HC 100mm f/2.2, HCD 28mm f/4, and Hasselblad HC 50-110mm f/3.5-4.5 for all your needs!
Also $70,000: Your Own Tropical Island
There's no better way to flex on your classmates at your 20-year high school reunion than by literally owning your own tropical island. At 0.25 acres, Bone Fish Caye has plenty of room for a nice house with a garden and a yard for your miniature horse to play in. Don't forget that Belize climate, which is basically about 85 degrees year-round. Lots of native and migratory birds fly over the island, plus there is plenty of fishing and kayaking to be done in the lagoon. Hasselblads aren't pretty darn cool, but are they private tropical island cool!?