They are out there. Lurking in the shadows and deep recesses of the internet where common sense is not welcome and logic has yet to be invented. I am speaking of course about every small business owner’s worst nightmare. The potential client that has no potential. Nothing I had encountered before could prepare me for the hilarious email I received one fine Monday morning.
It all began two weeks ago on a Tuesday. It was a fairly cold day up in Toronto which is not unusual and offered a rather unsurprising start to my day. I wasn’t particularly looking to leave my office where the trusty Tassimo machine was dispensing plenty of warm beverages at a furious pace. My caffeine addiction was to be cut short however, at least for the time being, as I had scheduled a meeting that day with a new prospective client. Luckily for me it was at a coffee shop.
The client in question was actually more of a middle man. In today’s politically correct world I suppose they are a middle person. I work with a lot of these. This particular middle person was a marketing agency that had their own roster of clients. As campaigns developed across their roster and if there was a need for a photographer I would naturally step in to place. Sounds like a pretty good place to be. So we scheduled that meeting and off I went on that cold Tuesday morning to make my presentation.
I have always considered face to face meetings my absolute best strength. I usually know that the job is mine if that is what it comes down to. In fact I make it a point to move my potential clients as fast as I can to a face to face interaction. As predicted, this one went as well as all the ones before it. We discussed our respective selves and the work that we do. I was informed that this marketing agency already had a client in mind for me and that the project would include some fairly simple product photography on an ongoing basis as well as corporate headshots. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary to note and I left the situation feeling great. Coffee in hand.
Fast forward to Monday of this week and a lovely surprise waits in my inbox first thing in the morning. It is an email from my new friends at the marketing agency. They had finished discussions with their client and were ready to proceed with the project. Yippee! This is what their email read:
“After talking to the client, they would like to have you come by to see the facilities, and do a couple tests for us. It would take about 2 hours for the whole thing to take place.
The tests would include:
1. Typewriter: Gauge words per minute and average typing speed
2. Mouse Reaction: Used to test mouse and keyboard reaction speeds
3. Cognitive: Basic math and English assessment (15 minutes to complete the test)
4. Photo: This may involves taking both studio and product shots, and editing them
If you're available, we'd like to have you come in this Saturday, February 15th, 2014 at 10:00 AM.”
Have you ever taken a brick to the face? Neither have I but I imagine it would make me feel about as stupid as reading this email.
I still have no clue what any of that had to do with the job I was being hired for. In a day and age where we hear about frivolous lawsuits against photographers, and a constant downward pressure on the price we are expected to provide our services for, it seems that client expectations might also be getting increasingly creative and ridiculous. Gone are the days when your portfolio meant something. Prepare yourselves people. As of today we are starting mandatory mouse reaction tests.
I don’t know if this is an anomaly, but I will say, as funny as this email was it did have me a bit concerned. Is the perception of our industry SO horrible that we must be subjected to such degrading tests in the eyes of the client? Have we become so competitive with each other that we are no longer rising above the competition but rather taking down the entire industry? Have we thrown so many of our fellow photographers under the proverbial bus that the path to success is littered with vultures?
The next time you receive a ridiculous request from a client take a moment to think about that. Then remind yourself that you probably don’t have it nearly as bad as some poor shmuck up in Canada furiously testing his mouse reaction skills to land a photography gig.
Think you can top this story? Share your client horror stories in the comments section. I look forward to reading them all.
I'm completely dumbfounded by this "aptitude test". What was your response? Were you forced to take this taste?
No Manny I declined the offer. I refuse to give clients the impression that photographers can be made to jump through such hoops.
But for one that is not willing to, there are ten who will at any price just to have recognition, fame, spread of word and easy money. That's sad. And that's the kind of people who devalue photography.
Not really. The photography business is a business as any other one. You can buy a Ferrari if you got the money for it. If you don't you will find a VW sales person telling you how much better the new Golf GTI is and yes you can buy it. But did the VW sales person ruin the Ferrari market? Nope. Ok situation is a little different for photography but you can compare it. If you do want the Ferrari, you will have to pay for it. If you don't, you want get a Ferrari.
If you want a real photographer, you will have to pay for it. If you don't, you won't get one. If the services you offer as a photographer, does not find enough interest on the market, you offer something there is no need for and you need to adapt your business. That's it.
So you can cry that VW is selling there cars so cheap, they ruin your business. Or you can adapt and keep on finding customers for your premium services (or cars). That's it.
Partially true. Where we have to focus is not in the business aspect, but in the perception of the photographic market as a service by those who request it. This perception is changing negatively although there will always be people who want and can pay for top photography. Unless you are a top photog, it will affect you. So adaptation is an energy-consuming effort in the short term; changing perception takes a lot of effort, but is like sowing seeds...
Forced to take the test? You've got to lose that way of thinking. Nobody has to do anything they don't want to. Say no to your boss, your client, a cop telling you to stop taking pictures. Those demands were so insulting, no one with any self respect would work with people like that. I'd also love to see the rest of the exchange though. I hope Peter put them in their place.
Could this top it ?
A couple asks for pricing for a glamour/boudoir shoot with some nude art shots.
The rest of the message is to specify that they would consider the wife "play with me" during the session if she was in a playful mood and afterwards too.
I kindly declined the offer, as this was just amazing, I think they were looking for a swinger GWC and no nude art, but it does make me laugh sometimes to think about the weird offers we receive.
IF only we could be "licensed" to show that we are pro's, and learn to show some higher standards!...(it's not like we don't have plenty equipment & training available to NOT make fools of ourselves)!!!!.......and if only there were "reviews" available for photographers the same way they are available for plumbers, realtors, doctors etc. etc. etc. If only!
http://kelbytv.com/thegrid/2014/02/13/the-grid-should-photographers-be-l...
According to them, none of which work as professional photographers ONLY, we don't need to show professionalism by being licensed and have "something to prove", that would separate the pro's from the faux's! The comments on the show above were awful, and all came from people who don't even work as "professional photographers"; basically now we're having amateurs deciding pro's fate! (prices, standards, etc). Shameful. If they had to pay their bills solely out of photography, they wouldn't be so quick to downplay the importance of PPA, and also the fact that there is so much garbage propagated in this industry thanks to the "no critiques allowed policy", and the endless "likes", that sadly this situation above is not surprising at all.
Having read this far and seeing you comment on pretty much every thread; I've come to the conclusion that you have no idea how to use quotation marks.
I see your trying to emphasize particular words, but that's not the way to do it. It just makes it uncomfortable to read.
I'm not picking out the actual content of your replies, just the quotation marks. For the love of god, please stop with the quotation marks.
Thanks.
"Tom"
I want to see how you responded to that email!
What's to respond? He is not their future employee, he is an independent contractor/ other business; he should ask them if they give these tests to their flooring installers, and window cleaners! Most likely, that company hired an "uncle" to do work previously, it was crap, and since there are no reviews available for photographers anywhere, then this is the result! I made a graphic about the "REST" of the responsibilities fauxtographer's forget they have:
so that ugly piece of s*it graphics is all you can come up with? :-)
but you think you can advice others?
Hey Thanks for proving my point about who's lurking in our industry! Nice vocabulary BTW! You must have been one of "students that were smarter than my dog!"
That graphic wasn't meant to be pretty! Too bad you can't read the text in it!
In the imagerty business, content is as much valuable as the "container".
It is UGLY. Look at all those infographics and why do they punch? They educate WHILE looking damn good.
That's great! I don't "imitate" usually. Nor do I specialize in designing "infographics", nor do I want to do that. So, The point of it was the text, which you obviously you bypassed, so you didn't get it.
Conversation over.
BTW "imagerty" is not a word.
I have been reading this thread for about 10 minutes now, and nearly everything you have contributed thus far is helpful and accurate. However, this is disgusting! I can't believe that someone posing as a professional photographer could manage to break so many rules of media and advertising in one image! You talk big but then when it comes down to production you've left all of the secrets and rules of the industry at home. Go back home.
& You spent 2 minutes picking on the dumbest thing! Thumbs up for missing the point entirely.
Read what it says; if that's too much to swallow, the simply stop reading! It really doesn't matter if I wrap that in clouds and pink unicorns, the writing remains the same...I could spend 5 minutes and change the background, and the font, and the words will remain the SAME...I am not sure why you don't comment on what it says, and rather be so hung up on something that's completely IRRELEVANT!? (I would make "irrelevant" bold and underlined, but I don't have that option).
I can't say I was very courteous. Haha.
Respond with an aptitude test of your own to see if their a good client for you!
See how fast they can write a cheque?
I have a feeling you have been sent the request they send to potential agency based admin personnel… so could well be an oversight or mistake.
But the last part about photo stuff makes me think otherwise...
Possibly, but could have just been tagged on the end by some junior admin person who was asked to send an email to a prospective photographer for a job vacancy. was asked to send point 4. but assumed they had to send points 1,2 & 3 too.
Too many times these days these stories appear on sites, groups and pages before it has even been questioned…
Good point Dani. I did actually email the client back for clarification as I thought the email might have been partially mixed up. Their reply was simply "these are the clients demands".
oh ok, I didn't read clearly that further communication happened.
Then I agree, that is a little bit of an odd request.
Really? Are they looking for an accountant/secretary/photographer?
Imagine you went and failled the test...but shot the best product photo in the history of photography...What then
They would probably tell me I was not hired but that they were going to use the photos anyway. :P
Let' see...
Before becoming a photographer I had a performing arts back ground. This "prospective client was aware of that fact and emailed me with the following "proposal":
"I am an event planner organizing a Oscar's themed party. I need you to play the role of a paparazzi and use a flash to take pictures. At the end of the night we will need to have a CD with the pictures taken."
Now while the offering price for the job was way bellow my rates both as a photographer and as a performer, what really bothered me was the fact that this client was trying to get two jobs for the price of one.... I mean you either need and entertainer to play a role, or you need a professional photographer to document the event...but don't try to fool people into working for you under false pretenses.
Haha Omar, this made me laugh. Thanks for sharing!
you are nothing but modern day working slaves.... face it.
you work so you can watch stupid TV shows and have the latest smartphone and some fancy clothes. nothing that sets you apart from 4 billion other humans in the industrialized world... but you think you are special.
humans today are just a sad bunch of drones.
get your life a meaning, protect the nature, help the helpless.
don´t be a capitalism drone.
huh?
Maybe he is the guy that sent the email in the first place :)
He's the guy who's not making any money and is really bitter about it.
Says the guy on a computer wishing they knew something about photography. Nice trolling.
I once had a potential client asking for a quote for an eight hour long event job. Upon receiving my quote, they emailed back asking for a lower price, arguing that I wouldn't be shooting the whole time I was there. They said that I would also be walking around, finding good angles, talking to people, changing lenses etc, and therefor I wouldn't actually be taking photographs constantly for the whole eight hours of the event.
I emailed back, politely telling them that it would be very difficult to keep track of this while working, and that it off course would be necessary for me to charge for the whole time I was there, available to them.
They emailed back asking why I couldn't just add together all the shutter speeds from the pictures I'd be taking... .. ...
HAHAHA!!! Bill by shutter speed, there's a new concept.
Thank god for equivalent exposures :)
That's brilliant!
I had a similar thing happen. I was working for a wedding videography company and the owner proposed looking at the amount of hours of footage everyone had taken to work out how much to pay. Needless to say I didn't offer my services again.
Sure. Just use a 10-stop ND-Filter, exposure bracketing from -10 to +10 in 1/3 stop increment and Branizer method with a 200mm lens to shoot HDR panoramas.
That's just brilliant! Can't argue with that.
Amazing concept. If you shot at 1/4000 shutter speed you could bill for one second if you shot 4,000 photos.
LOL! I bet they'll freak if they hear that! hahahahahaha But maybe we should try that some times to make a point!
Some of the comments on this post make me scratch my head as much (if not more) than the crazy request of this sketchy "middle person"!
I had a meeting with a potential client for ongoing event photo gigs. I loathe event photography, but a friend had reached out and said it would be the perfect networking situation, and so I thought "Well why not?"
The meeting started with the company's owner's assistant, who was sent to "prep" me to meet the owner. She said "Sally (not real name) is the craziest client ever. You need to show absolute confidence to be able to execute any request she has, no matter how unreasonable it might seem to you."
I almost wanted to ask if she had just heard the words that came out of her mouth.
So I meet Sally and I ask her what are some of the things that previous photographers have done that she would like to see done differently. She said "I don't like how photographers have to change lenses when I need them to do something different."
.... Oh.
Turns out, she wanted two things: She wanted advert-quality images of the set-ups of the events that they plan, as well as candids and grab-and-grin shots of the guests. Ok, I get that. I asked how long I would have with the set-ups alone to be able to shoot them before transitioning into shooting the event itself.
"Oh, no time. You'll be shooting while the caterers are setting up and as soon as they are done the guests file in."
"Huh... well, I suppose it would be possible. We also need to talk about how the advert images are going to be licensed."
"Oh, we just give you 200 dollars per event. We don't have a marketing budget, I think that's a waste of money."
"OK WELL IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU!"
Well, obviously a pro could carry two camera's with two different lenses. That's a given, wedding photographers do this all the time. (Saves the sensor dust pilings).
However, next time someone says that to you, make sure to point out that the "advertising budget" is directly related to how many "clients" they get to have!
More on licensing here:
http://asmp.org/tutorials/licensing-guide.html#.UwI1K0JdUeM
Yeah, I shoot with two cameras, I get that, but that doesn't mean you never have to change a lens. And I also know how to license a photo, but she wasn't interested in licences at all: I'm not going to do advertising work without one.
Ohh, I get that...(in no way could I "not" change a lens if the situation demanded for it) That was a VERY RETARDED comment to make on her part...it just shows how much "ignorance" is flying around when we're regarded these days! I think (my opinion), that everyone who is looking to work in the photographic field full time or part time, should really promote and talk about how photos are or should be licensed.
I lost over 1000 photos to a local client who signed the licensing agreement and contract, and yet he did the exact opposite when it came to respecting the contract he signed.
True that! I'm in an argument right now with a guy in a different thread who claims to work for an ad agency, but refuses to believe that photo licenses differ in price based on scope and usage/medium. He seems to think that a brand like coca cola just pays a photographer a couple thousand dollars and can then do anything and everything with the photo with no additional costs. He's either a liar or an idiot.